Just want to put this out there for anyone who has been widowed before the age of 51 or maybe you know someone who has. They may not be aware of the charity Widowed and Young (WAY).
https://www.widowedandyoung.org.uk/
If you know someone who has been widowed at a young age, please pass on the details of the group to them, even privately or discreetly if you have to.
But please let them know the group exists! It doesn’t matter about their background or how they became widowed. Whether it was medically related or an accident, e.t.c. The point is, it’s bringing everyday people who are suffering together, to help them understand the pain they are going through.
It’s still very early days for me but the charity has already been helping me understand why my mind and body are being so erratic just now and will, unfortunately, continue to do so. Simply by reading everyone else’s stories, chatting with other members. It’s helping me understand why I feel the way I do and struggle to do certain basic tasks that were previously 2nd nature to me.
WAY have their own discussion forums, 24/7 helplines and also private Facebook groups where people can safely open up about what they are going through. Lots of private subgroups, more dedicated to certain areas, for example, those with or without children + several more. I simply can’t describe how it feels both mentally and physically to go through something like this. It’s not what you expect to be grief from losing someone. The only way for someone to understand is to have unfortunately gone through a similar loss themselves.
Which is why WAY works so well. It’s members have all gone through the same loss in their life. Every member of WAY understands, they “Get it”!
Privacy is the utmost and none of the stories or discussion topics are public. It is a safe haven to release your frustrations, get your questions answered, and most importantly feel comfortable about how strange and worrying everything feels.
It’s such a shame with all the lockdown nonsense this year that people aren’t able to meet up in person, so it’s all mostly online just now, but it still helps! The sooner these lockdown restrictions are lifted the better for everyone’s mental wellbeing!
Things feel so unnatural and indescribable, yet somehow that’s normal !?!, and being able to share that with people who truly understand is invaluable. You don’t ever get over it! You just try your best to live with your new life going forward, with your loved one still being a part of you, yet no longer physically by your side.
As I said at the top, if you or you know someone who has been widowed at a young age, please pass on the details of WAY to them. No matter whether their loss was recent or a few years ago. Some members don’t find WAY until a year or more later and they all say they wish they found it sooner on their journey! The support is there by way of real people going through the same horrific change in their life!
